Innocent!
Looks can be deceiving.
Looks can be deceiving.
I just wanted to draw something pretty.
Ever since my dad got sick, I’ve been worried that I have the same disease lurking in my DNA. That is still to be determined. In the meantime, I think the below trip to the doctor was just a result of tweaking my back, which turned into some other issues. I’m feeling better now, though!
If you’re seeing this on May 27, this message is for you.
I’m not going to lie to you, quitting social media for the week was transformative. I felt more grounded and less anxious. I felt more tapped into my creativity and thoughts. Oh, the impetus for this self-imposed break was The Artist’s Way— this was reading deprivation week. I chose to substitute social media for reading in general.
Now, I was able to sustain limited screen time for a week or two after this. Now… I’m really right back where I was. I’ve told you I have an all-or-nothing personality. I’ve tried instituting some limitations, but I just go around them! I like posting on Instagram sometimes and I enjoy making videos on Tik Tok. But, I use scrolling as a balm when I’m feeling lonely or overtired. It doesn’t help, but it provides a distraction. I can’t fix my whole life all at once! I’ll figure it out someday.
Every once in a while, my mom goes out to dinner with her friends and I’ll go over to “watch my dad” after his caregiver leaves for the night. He usually just goes to sleep, so there’s not much for me to do other than provide peace of mind. I’m trying to cherish the little moments of nostalgia that surface during this process.
When I saw these ladies, I literally gasped and said, “Now THAT’S a PICTURE!” but I couldn’t reach my phone in time, so I resolved to draw it. Also, I started booking it even faster because those flowers sell out fast.
Practicing some gratitude for the here and now, even when things aren’t perfect.
This was inspired by a conversation with a neighbor; she said her teenage daughter recognized me from the library and basically said that working at a library you can walk to is a dream life! Then, I started thinking about all the ways I’ve crafted a life that’s worth loving. I think it’s something to celebrate.
My dogs are local porch-hoppers. They love to go visit our neighbors; at some houses, they even get treats but usually attention and rubs suffice.
At the time of this writing, it already feels like summer. But we had some beautiful spring weather in April!
Not every idea is a winner.
I am so baffled by the sudden omnipresence and cultural acceptance of AI. I think the whole thing is a misnomer, anyway, because it is not “intelligence” so much as amalgamated and regurgitated data. It’s run using exploited labor and is killing the environment. So, why is everyone acting like it’s mandatory that we all use it?
Here’s my take: if the technocrat billionaire ruling class is pushing it, you can guarantee that it’s not actually going to make our lives easier, but make THEIR lives easier. Having a populace that has outsourced all their critical thinking skills to chat bots is beneficial to them. That means we can be even more easily manipulated and controlled. In a world of rapidly diminishing resources, a populace that is docile will be delayed in dismantling these systems.
Anyway. Here are some drawings I made about AI.
April 10th was my 100th day of making comics. Well, not cumulatively, but in a row. For some reason, I got it into my head that I would be rewarded for this.
But, making comics is its own reward. I am so happy to have kept this up. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had plenty of doubts along the way. There are comics that I look back on that I do not like. There are days when I feel like this is a pointless exercise. Selfish, wasteful, even. But, it’s a tool I’m using to better understand myself and the world; that makes it worthwhile to me.
I’m enjoying playing in this magical adventure world that I’ve created as a visual language to better understand my feelings.
Because who wants to experience existential dread when you could, instead, be scrawling in a leather-bound tome by candlelight in front of the moonlit window?
Neighbors help neighbors by picking the little oak flowers out of their hair.
This is all just a blip, right?
…right???
by Matthew Olzmann
—Southern Pines, NC
Tell me what it’s like to live without
curiosity, without awe. To sail
on clear water, rolling your eyes
at the kelp reefs swaying
beneath you, ignoring the flicker
of mermaid scales in the mist,
looking at the world and feeling
only boredom. To stand
on the precipice of some wild valley,
the eagles circling, a herd of caribou
booming below, and to yawn
with indifference. To discover
something primordial and holy.
To have the smell of the earth
welcome you to everywhere.
To take it all in, and then,
to reach for your knife.
Another comics about things not quite turning out the way I imagined.
Thank goodness the yellow pollen is done now. For a while, a 25% yellow gradient was coating everything like a bad filter.
I was wrestling with a few different annoying creatures in these comics.
At least Felix can be bribed.
See, I have just been practically swimming in a pool of nostalgia.
I am not religious in an organized way these days. But, I find that connecting to nature helps me tap into these memories, feelings, and reflections. To me, that’s the holy spirit.
Now, I’m back in my comfort-zone palette.
Trying to find strength in my emotions, in my depth of feeling. Allowing myself to cruise around in my memories. I have a lot of visualisations for memories; I do really like this H.G. Wells-inspired gold time machine. I imagine you pick a card out of the catalog and feed it into the machinery before it takes you zooming off into time and space. Okay, zipping off to my next decade!
This comic was inspired by a very teary conversation with a friend in a coffee shop.
<3
Here’s another example of me trying to use different colors, only to end up with a ketchup and mustard effect. I wanted these colors to represent ENERGY! Let’s take a moment to appreciate that I attempted to draw a herd of running horses AND someone riding a bike in the same comic.
I’m going to be totally honest: this is not one of my favorite pages from my journal comics sketchbook. I was trying to push myself to use colors that I don’t typically use and the result is a mish-mash of clashing hues.
I do like the reds here— I was thinking about the importance of red in the tarot and how it represents passion, energy, and action. I do like the way these drawings turned out.
These are fine. Part of this project of accountability is that not every page will be perfect and I own that. More about the last part later.